February

Mar 5, 2015
For the first time in 18 months I am finally starting to feel like myself and am coming out of the depression and anxiety that has been my constant companion for the last year.  



As a result, February has been pretty great.  Even with me getting bronchitis and a sinus infection and Macey and Ruby getting the strep virus.  :)

Like most of the west, we've been having a mild winter.  While we desperately miss our normal snow fall, we are not going to sit inside and pout when there is sunshine to be enjoyed.  

Ruby has been tasting/eating lots of dirt, leaves and grass.  I tell myself it's good for her, right? :)

Elsa is rarely left out when the kids venture over to the park. I hear she likes the swings and slide the best.  


The neighborhood kids are obsessed with playing cops and robbers and ghosts in the graveyard.  There is always lots of shooting, sword fighting, and wrestling going on.  Even though it is a tad violent, I'm just glad they've found a game to play where everyone is welcome and included.  

With my sometimes limited watching of the boys while outside, they've of course been getting into trouble too.  This time Miles decided to smash an entire bag of chocolate hearts all over a neighbor's porch.  Good thing I heard kids yelling at him, so I went out to investigate.  30 min of scrubbing later, he had most of the chocolate removed.  


I love it when I can convince the boys to take a scooter ride around the neighborhood.


Notice how Paul is riding Macey's bike?  She was throwing some sort of fit (a common occurrence) and refused to ride.  So, Paul hopped on while she slowly sulked the rest of the way home.  

Poor Ruby spends lots of time looking out the screen door and window, as she's stuck inside with me while I try to get as much done as I possibly can while the boys are occupied.  


Crew has replaced Macey as my constant talker and is always cracking me up.  
He has even found a better way to converse with me while I'm preparing food.  He pulls the chair over to "order up" and stands on it, so he's in my direct vision while I chop and mix.  It's hilarious and exhausting at the same time.  

He (we) have decided he is done with naps, so every once in awhile he'll stop to cuddle with me and even fall asleep for a few min.  I obviously love it.  

Even though the kid never climbed out of his crib, crazy I know! We made the switch to the bottom bunk and he is in heaven.  


Like all 2 year olds, he loves to make messes for me and pushes his boundaries as much as possible.  


He's also obsessed with taking pictures with my phone and every once in awhile I get a picture that isn't of his forehead or my legs.


Like this:


Like every month, we've made about a million visits to Thanksgiving Point.  



And I just had to document the row of Mini Vans at Farm Country...only in Utah.  



We also took the kids to Gameworks in SLC for the first time, it was a blast.


Miles has been slightly more manageable this month, then a normal February, due to the fact that he's been able to run around outside most days.  

I registered him for kindergarten and kind of freaked out about it.  but, like I was reminded, he still has 6 months of growing to do before he enters public school and I pray there's a lot of growth and self control learned in that time. :)  


He even earned a trip to one of his favorite places, the pet store, to check out the snakes.  

Miles is still the best at watching and playing with Ruby.  

But, Macey has taken a sudden interest in her and I have hope that she will be able to help me chase her around this summer.  


And she loves to match her, so I of course have to oblige.  




Ruby is at such a content age right now, where she's just happy to be left free to crawl around and get into things as she desires.  



Being the youngest of 4 though, she has also learned very quickly how to defend herself.  Be it with a sword, hands, mouth, or feet.  

I have learned that Macey thrives with one on one time.  


She gets to stay up an hour later than the other 3 and this is where I usually enjoy her the most.  This night she was telling me how when she grows up she is going to live next door to me, so I won't miss her too much and then I'll have her babies to cuddle.  Sounds absolutely perfect to me.  

Michelle and I took our girls to see Pinkalicious at the Scera Theater.  It was random and funny, the girls loved it, but I think I laughed the most. 


Another way I cope with the craziness that is my 4 kids, is consistent nights out with Paul.


We had our last BYU basketball home game of the season though, so now we will have to think of something else to do with our babysitter time.  

Paul also surprised me with VIP tickets to one of my favorite bands, Motion City Soundtrack.  


One of the best nights I've had in a long time.  



I loved getting to meet and talk with them, along with hearing a private acoustic set, that we got to enjoy with just the 10 other VIPs.  


Just what I needed to feel more like my old self again.  

So, yay for me learning that it's ok to have bad days and for trying to find the good moments, no matter how small they may seem at the time.  And for learning to listen to Elsa's advice and to just "let it go". 
Tags: februarywinter
angie
I'm sad to learn that you've been struggling with depression for such a long time. I'm also proud of you that you will state it and let it be known. I had a bout of postpartum depression after Gemma was born and it was scary to have to work so, so hard to try to not sink into despair every hour of every day. I'm glad you're pulling out of your depression and feeling more like yourself again. Keep it up! Celebrate every small step.
nancy
So glad to hear that you're feeling better.

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